Sex Taboos - The Sad Death of David Carradine

Sexual Smothering, Auto-Erotica, Strangulation

Reported by Susan Donaldson James of ABC News online: "The mysterious death of actor David Carradine -- perhaps by auto-erotic asphyxia -- focused renewed attention on a practice that is one of the greatest and most dangerous sexual taboos. Both actor David Carradine (left) and INXS singer Michael Hutchence are believed to have died through a dangerous sexual practice called auto erotic asphyxia. The 72-year-old actor was found dead in a Thai hotel room closet in an intricate web of ropes -- one around his neck, another around his genitals and the two tied together, according to Thai authorities." Access link: http://abcnews.go.com/Health/story?id=7764618&page=1

Smothering, queening, suffocation, auto-erotica, choke and stroke, asphyxiation, and strangulation are some of the darker play forms used by people who enjoy BDSM and sexual kink. I have had many men come to me and request these sexual versions. [I call them version and not perversions because I feel that society should not be judgmental of our lifestyle choice.] These versions of sex play are very, very dangerous. Any lack of oxygen to the brain can be dangerous, plus injuries to the neck can occur from the weight on the head. Yet, men will make this request of Mistresses, prostitutes and partners completely unknown to them. Like many kinky sex versions, this type of play can become an addiction, just like the need for porn to get off, or a sex toy up the ass.

Smothering or queening is when a Mistress sits on your face completely covering it with her pussy and/or ass, sometimes while a submissive, slave or partner is restrained. She proceeds to cut off his air supply for an undetermined amount of time by sitting on the face. The play usually allows for the recipient or person being smothered to have the air supply cut off until they are near a state of panic. Some Mistresses tie the recipient up, allowing only one hand to be loose enough to reach their cock so the recipient can stroke while being smothered. Others use this play for punishment or just exhibition.

Mummification can be another form of smothering. In mummification, the person's entire body is wrapped in some type of plastic or other covering, and leaving only a small opening for the mouth, in which a straw is inserted for breathing. On occasion a Mistress will wrap the submissive with one hand strapped over the exposed cock for stroking. As the mummified person strokes, the Mistress cuts off the air supply by placing a finger over the end of the straw to block it, or by blowing cigarette smoke into the end of the straw.

Auto-erotica, asphyxiation or strangulation during sex takes this kinky play a step further. Plus, it can be completed as self-masturbation without the assistance of any partner. This form of play requires something around the neck to strangle the person or a bag over the head to asphyxiate as they stroke or masturbate. Some men use a soft rope (so marks are not visible on the neck after play) and place themselves in a hanging position so they can lean into the rope and strangle themselves. Others put a plastic bag over their head and tie it shut at the neck while they stroke. The dangers of this practice are obvious. If the male blackouts at any point, or has bound or blocked himself in such a way that he cannot quickly release himself, death from suffocation or strangulation is imminent.

In a personal experience, I had friends who used a belt around the male's neck, pulled tight during the play as part of the tease, then pulled very tight at the last moments of play just before the orgasm to intensify it. This "belt" practice is especially dangerous because the partner may feel that she has control of the situation without realizing how easy it is for the belt to become jammed or stuck, stopping quick release. The Mistress was sure that she would be able to release the belt before any death may occur, but she did not consider the possibility of stroke or brain damage from the arteries in the neck being blocked.

A few practice what they consider "safe" auto-erotica. This involves the practice of controlled hyperventilation followed by holding the breath. Underwater divers have used this practice to increase oxygen in their bodies in order to stay underwater for longer periods of time. With controlled hyperventilation, every bit of air that can be exhaled is released from the lungs. This lowers the carbon dioxide (CO2) in the blood stream. Then a deep breath is taken. It is supposed that this raises the oxygen in the blood. They believe, if this is done enough times a person will be able to hold their breath for a much longer time. This also is a very dangerous practice. For sex play, if a person performs this practice four or more times, the CO2 level can get so low they black out. The dangers are obvious if you are underwater and black out, but they are less obvious, if you pass out while masturbating. Most use this practice because if they pass out, in a safe area, they just resume normal breathing while out. Although the danger is less if you are safely positioned away from falls, fire (smokers), or strangulation, keep in mind that brain damage can occur in as little as three minutes. For those who practice this controlled hyperventilation on a regular basis, or who become addicted to it, brain damage can be a real threat.

According to Wikipedia at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autoerotic_asphyxiation, most people who die from this practice are males, in their mid 20s, although it does happen to all ages including teens and the elderly. Wikipedia gives a great description of this sexual practice along with a list of famous cases of those who have died from this sex play. I recommend you read it.

As a responsible Mistress, I do not condone or participate in this type of play. Such practices as smothering or queening by sitting on the person's face are used for show only, and never takes the recipient to the point of struggling for air. As for auto-erotica, a responsible person would never place a plastic bag on some one's head, nor tie anything around their neck.

In the use of the belt, and other forms of this sex play, a person can die from cerebral anoxia (lack of oxygen to the brain which is irreversible), and brain or tissue damage could possibly occur, depending on how long the brain and body are deprived of oxygen. A person also risks lacerating, cutting or bruising the neck, trachea, and esophagus.

Every time this form of play is used, a person could end up with brain damage or dead. About 500 to 1,000 deaths a year occur during this sexual play.

There are so many forms of deep and intense sexual play to choose from. Why not choose something safe for that mind blowing orgasm you seek? Find a Mistress in your area or BDSM group or even a swingers' group, and try out safer yet unique forms of sexual play to satisfy your desires.

BDSM in Las Vegas

The following article is a reprint from Las Vegas City Life, an alternative and open-minded newspaper her ein Las Vegas. The article refers to the local BDSM groups and stores, and the passion of people in Vegas seeking BDSM play and acceptance. The article link can be found at:
http://lvcitylife.com/articles/2009/02/13/news/local_news/iq_26853555.tx
And the online version of the newspaper itself is at http://www.lasvegascitylife.com/ and proivides a well of unbiased and relatively uncensored information regarding Las Vegas, Vegas activities, Vegas politics and art scene, and more, as well as very interesting articles. Please enjoy:

A little restraint

The Target cashier couldn't contain her curiosity any longer. She just had to ask Christine Floyd: What's with all the rolling pins she's buying? Teach a cooking class? Own a bakery? Are you a particularly heavy-handed chef?

"What I did tell her? I told her the truth. I said I cover them in leather and spikes and then sell them at my store," Floyd says. "They do feel quite nice on the back."

The 70-year-old owner of fetishwear shop "Lady C" Leather may be into the bondage and discipline lifestyle, but self-censorship is one form of restraint that doesn't turn her on. Since relocating her store to Las Vegas from Tampa, Fla., more than six years ago, Floyd has become a sort of outspoken ambassador to the world of bondage/discipline/sadomasochism (BDSM).

She waxes authoritative on everything from the virtues of the titty whip ("Now, the short one -- it's like instant spots. The shortness of the swing means its hits more quickly. Now these deerskin ones are just like a kiss ...") to sound BDSM practices ("Safe, sane, consensual and -- I always add -- sober.)" But her cheerful openness is more of an exception than a rule.

"In Tampa, we'd rent out the electrical union worker's hall and throw huge parties," Floyd recalls. "We had doctors, professors, doctors into the lifestyle who showed up. It wasn't hidden. We even had a dungeon in our store, where customers could try out products and play. We even threw parties in the shop."

A visitor to "Lady C" Leather on West Sahara Avenue will find a cornucopia of fetishwear, from ball-gags to slave collars to cock rings to ankle restraints. But he might also find things here decidedly more low-key. For instance, what may look like a dungeon in the back -- complete with a St. Andrew's cross, suspension bars and a row of paddles, riding crops and floggers at the ready -- is carefully referred to as a "furniture showcase," its door kept wide open to ward off the faintest suspicion that something naughty might go on in there.

Says Floyd, "The first thing that struck me after coming from Tampa is how totally underground the scene is here."

Muzzled, puzzled

Las Vegas may be known as Sin City, but not for the local BDSM scene. You might say its members feel a bit muzzled. Many of those in the lifestyle complain that the wider vanilla community is dismally unenlightened when it comes to their pastime; others say state laws and county codes put a damper on the operation of safe, consensual play spaces such as dungeons, a BDSM culture mainstay in other cities such as San Francisco and New York.

And misinformation and misunderstanding often rein over their most basic lifestyle choices. It seems you can't have a conversation with a sadist or a submissive without a cohort chiming in, properly aghast, that even playfully slapping your spouse's bottom in the privacy of your home breaks state battery laws. (The state attorney general's office declined to comment on the practice of BDSM, saying to answer the question would amount to giving legal advice.)

But first, some discipline: BDSM is not necessarily about sex. Rather, as those in the lifestyle describe it, BDSM is a form of higher-concept kink that targets the cranium more than the crotch. This is the realm of the high-powered, Type A executive who finds blessed release in submitting to the sting of the leather flog. Or the soft-spoken housewife who privately thrills to wielding a riding crop. Or the loving couple who pledge an intimacy beyond marriage by declaring one the slave and one the master. Those extreme swings of power yield pleasures far beyond any mere orgasm, say those in the lifestyle.

"I had it pounded into my head that BDSM is illegal in Nevada. That's why we always had to limit ourselves to private parties," says Vegas Vixen -- yes, just Vegas Vixen. By day, the merry, Rubenesque woman with dark showgirl eyes shuffles papers as a bureaucrat in the health care field. You'd never guess that her polyamorous private life includes both a husband (that'd be Slim) and a "daddy," or dominant play partner (that'd be Dark Mark).

Vixen is also the co-owner of the Sin City D/s (dominance/submission) lifestyle group, and as she talks about the local BDSM scene, she's unwinding over beer and tequila shots at the P.T.'s Pub on Sahara and Decatur Boulevard. Sin City D/s meets here weekly in the sunken area strewn with couches and banquettes, but you'd never know it save perhaps for the occasional leather vest. Which is the thing: The abundance of discretion is part politeness, part self-preservation.

And sometimes that desire to fly under the radar turns into paranoia. Vixen tells one story of a big national BDSM bash slated for a downtown bar years ago. The bash never happened, though, because a community member, worried at the scrutiny such an event might bring to the scene, tipped off the police and made the organizers nervous enough to cancel the event.

"The scene here is very different compared to other cities," Vixen says. "People in the lifestyle move here expecting the city of sin, but they're disappointed. Things are improving, but it's very slow. Still, we need a place where people who are curious can be safe and not meet a predator, or run into their boss, or a place where the boss can get over his own mentality. If you're going to play with knives, there needs to be a place you can learn not to cut yourself."

Just hard enough

Or a place to learn not to bite too hard -- or just hard enough.

At the next table, another Sin City D/s member, Kat, tugs aside her leopard-print top to reveal a dim blue crescent on her chest. It's a bite mark.

"Is it a good thing? Oh yeah, it's a good thing!" she says. "I tried to go back into the vanilla world several times, but it's like dial-up versus cable modem. Once you get cable, you can't go back."

Kat received her memento in a private play sesh with one of her partners, but there was a place in Las Vegas, once upon a time, where you could play in public. It was called The Libertine, and it was open from February to July. "I've been to a lot of dungeons, and The Libertine was phenomenal," she says of the short-lived space on Sunset and Pecos roads. It wasn't just a place to get a good spanking, many say; rather, the club hosted classes and workshops on safe and responsible fetish play. (In fact, according to county officials, the club applied for an "educational institution" license, which the county denied.) But the county shut down The Libertine after alleging it was operating as an illegal sex club. It also didn't help that The Libertine was next door to a dance studio for children.

Attorney Conrad Claus helped represent The Libertine in its fight with the county. He, too, laments the government's tendency to equate fetish with sex.

"It wasn't a sex club," he says. "There's a distinction between a site where sex versus flagellation occurs. If I were to open up such a club, I'd explicitly say 'no sex,' and we'd be in a very interesting legal gray area. It'd be a place where we'd have to set up some intelligent rules for a club that specialized in bondage." There are no such rules at the moment. According to the county business license experts, there's no category for such a license.

Wayne Bridge, CEO of the Sin City Chamber of Commerce, agrees: Local government is behind the curve.

"They're totally ignorant of what BDSM is about," he says. "They think it's a sexual thing. In any BDSM club I know of, no sex takes place. We often say this is Sin City, but when people interested in the fetish lifestyle come here, they find we're more conservative than Omaha, Nebraska." Bridge deplores more than just the misbranding; he sees tourist dollars going elsewhere, too. "Fetish tourism could be huge here. I get 200 calls and e-mails a year asking about the BDSM scene here, and I have nowhere to refer them to."

It's your business

He could refer them to the Power Exchange, an adult playground on Highland Drive near Spring Mountain Road and I-15. Perhaps it's best to let owner Michael Powers describe it.

"It's like [the Disneyland ride] Pirates of the Caribbean, but the pirates are having sex. I also like to call it a vegetable medley ... peas, carrots and corn." The club is a veritable hotel of themed rooms, fantasy scenes and fetish play spaces. Open since November, the Power Exchange attracts its share of conventional swingers, but BDSM community members give a thumbs-up to its dungeons. Powers sold his interest in a San Francisco club to bankroll the Vegas incarnation. Today, it's the closest thing BDSM community members have to a distinct playground that's reasonably separated from swingers.

But perhaps Powers' most impressive feat is how he's managed, so far, to escape the lash of the county: How does this pansexual palace of all things fetish keep its doors open if there's no such license to account for it?

Powers says he operates a handful of official businesses -- with official business licenses -- on the premises to keep the bureaucrats happy. He runs a tanning salon, Buns in the Sun, and a silk-screening business out of the building.

"If I'm going to have a business that makes $2 million a year off people spanking each other, they want to make sure they're getting their cut," he explains. The tanning business and clothing line, he reasons, give the government something specific to put on paper. As for what goes on in the rooms once men and women pay the entrance fee, Powers is laissez-faire. "I'm like a gym. People pay a fee to use the facility, and what they do is their business."

And hopefully the county will start to see it the same way. "The word that comes to mind for the BDSM scene here is 'starved,'" Powers says. "They're starved for a location, for a sense of, 'It's OK to be that person, to have that interest.' I'm their crusading knight, their modern templar. I'll bear the cross on my chest and fight to the death." Powers almost makes it sound fun -- that is, if you're into pain.

The article link can be found at:
http://lvcitylife.com/articles/2009/02/13/news/local_news/iq_26853555.tx
And the online version of the newspaper itself is at http://www.lasvegascitylife.com/
Last updated on Thursday, February 12, 2009 at 12:09 am

Want to Serve Me?

MALES and SISSYS: IF YOU WANT TO SERVE ME ...

Believe it when I say I receive literally thousands of applicants and offers per year seeking to serve me. Most cvontact me online. Also believe me when I say of those thousands 99% are flakes and curiousity seekers. I have only found two slaves in all my years from online applicants. And one of those was only seeking a Mistress who would hook him up for sex with others, so he didn't last long. If all you are seeking is kinky sex, I am the wrong Mistress for you. If all you are seeking is room and board in exchange for service, I am the wrong Mistress for you. If you need your ego stroked and lots of my special attention, I am the wrong Mistress for you. I am a BDSM Mistress who seeks service-oriented slaves and submissives. That means I seek those who enjoy serving, pampering and taking care of another. The role is not much different than a live-in chambermaid or butler. You provide service to me personally, become my constant companion, and provide for me. The service positions vary from slave to slave, but all positions involve serving me and making my life more comfortable and easy, so that my personal time is freed to pursue the runnings of the household and work. If you are thinking about serving me or applying for a position in my household, you will have to prove your sincerity just like the slaves who already live with me. Instructions are below.

If you want to serve me - fulltime, part-time or for a one-time session, instructions follow:

(1) FULL TIME SERVICE: TO MY SINCERE APPLICANTS WHO WANT TO SERVE ME IN PERSON 24/7: Albeit far and few! I run a communal household (meaning there is always more than one slave serving me and living with me). You WILL NOT be my one and only ever. If you want to be the only one -- look elsewhere. I currently own one male full-time live-in sex slave to whom I am married because he provides me health insurance through his employment, and one part-time sissymaid who poses for my online photos and pampers me in hur home when I visit Vegas, and recently dismissed a female submissive who violated my trust. The sex slave has served me for nine years, and the sissy has been with me for three years, and the female submissive was dismissed after three years of companionship. Slaves are all collared to me for long term service. They belong to me and serve me ONLY. I ONLY have intercourse with my collared slaves and submissives, and only when I want it - so don't think you will gain that type of special attention with a one time meeting (although I am willing to give you a good ass fucking with my strap-on if I think you deserve it) and keep in mind that you may never be a slave who has intercourse or sexual contact with me, although I will certainly have sexual play with you at my convenience. To apply for a position with me, you must email me for instructions and screening forms. If you cannot read, write or clearly understand English - don't bother. If you have difficulty following written and verbal instructions, again - don't bother. If you are married, DON'T BOTHER requesting full-time service, you may ONLY serve on-line (see item #2 below). If you are single and you SINCERELY want to serve me, show me you have something to offer other than your useless dick. Sadly, thousands before you have wasted my time. They promised their sincerity then missed their interview, or wrote dozens of emails then flaked out, etc. - in other words, they wasted my time and I DON'T LIKE THAT! Due to their insincere contacts, all online or email applicants have to contact me via phone first before I will let you attempt an in-person meeting of any type. (To talk to me, contact me via Yahoo messenger first for instructions at mistressrana_2000@yahoo.com).) You will have to chat with me dozens of times to gain my attention and prove you are sincere. You will have to court me. You will have to show me you are totally 100% submissive. You will have to shine above the rest - above the other hundreds of insincere pathetic lifeless losers who are competing for my attention. You will have to wine and dine me via phone and small gifts or cards or letters, and give me an abundance of your time, before I will even consider you. It doesn't cost you anymore than it would to date me and get to know me. If you feel that is too much for you to do before you meet me or serve me, then you ARE NOT a slave, you are self-serving and need to look elsewhere. You will have to show me you really want me and my lifestyle, and if what I ask is too much, then you don't want me or the lifestyle. Besides, your best alternative is to call me and chat, ask questions, and find out whether you truly have the sincerity and drive to really serve me. Calls are much cheaper than meeting, plus they will help you decide whether you really want to serve or whether it is just a fantasy that will never happen.

(2) ON-LINE SERVICE: TO SINCERE SLAVES WHO WANT TO SERVE ME ONLINE: I realize many are seeking to serve but do not currently have the means to do so in-person. You need to know that I will not waste time with you unless you have something REAL to offer me. Tell me what you have to offer and how you will serve me from afar. Don't give me any of that "I'll worship your feet" shit. Your mouth does not reach that far, only your bullshit does. Tell me what REAL service you can offer, otherwise do not waste my time. Online service must be accomplished just like any REAL time service with you offering me something REAL. I have several online slaves who serve me. One designs webpages for me, another sends me tributes, another sends me small gifts and dining cards, and another provides me with astrology reports and counsel. I will not waste my time entertaining you via phone calls, emails or IMs. If you have nothing REAL to offer me, then call me on the phone contact me via yahoo messenger at mistressrana_2000 and we'll discuss a way you can provide payment for an in-person call. My time is not free for those seeking to play online or the phone. If you are seeking ANY type of online sexual satisfaction, then you can contact me via messenger which will be followed by a payment and phone sex. You can pay for it just like everyone else. Oh, it's good. You can stroke and cum, and delight in all the things a Mistress knows and can do to a pathetic little worm like you. Mistresses know more about sex than anyone else. But, PLEASE don't waste my time telling me you are SINCERELY seeking a Mistress to serve when all you want is free phone sex. You won't get it. If phone sex is all you seek, contact me via messenger and you will receive a call number after your payment is received. Then just enjoy the fantasy phone sex and let it be. It's $2 a minute, quite affordable. A ten minute call will cost you less than it would if you met me in person and paid for coffee or lunch. Payment is made through PayPal. If you live overseas, don't bother asking me to call, cause it won't happen -- just read item #4 below.

(3) ONE TIME SESSIONS: TO THOSE SEEKING ONE TIME SESSIONS OR MEETINGS OR OCASSIONAL MEETINGS: I provide one time REAL sessions for those traveling nearby, attending a convention, etc. Yes, you will compensate me for it! Since you do not serve me, and want me to expend time on you, you will compensate me. These sessions include play with my extensive toys and tools, and fulfillment of Mistress-type fantasies. For details, email me at mistressrana_2000@yahoo.com. I require several weeks advance notice for appointments, so don't bother writing me to say you want to meet with me in a couple days or next week because it will not happen. I have many one-time session seekers who set up appointments months in advance, and I will not waste time on anyone who cannot follow instructions or manage their own time properly. Prior to setting up your one-time meeting, you have to call me a minimum of three times, you will receive the number after contacting me on messenger then paying for my time. If it's too much trouble or too expensive for you to call me, then don't bother asking to meet me for a session, because you won't be able to afford a session either. Remember, you are not applying to serve me, only to use my time for your own pleasures.

(4) OVERSEAS OR FAR AWAY APPLICANTS: Don't waste my time saying, "I'll relocate. I want to serve you." Out of the thousands, yes thousands, who contact me every year and say that, only one or two are sincere, and even then, they just want to escape some pitiful portion of their current life with someone who will give them a free ride or free transportation for a time. I will not provide you with free room and board in exchange for pussy or boot lickings, so don't even think about coming to me at my expense and waste my time. But, if you really feel that you are that one person who is sincere, then show me how sincere you really are! Show me how hard you will work to get to where I am. Do you have a bus ticket? Plane fare? Or are you too lazy to even earn that to come see me? If you cannot show me the incentive to find your way to me, then you are too lazy to serve me, and I don't want you. All foreign applicants must visit me for an extended vacation period before I will agree to allowing them to apply for full time live-in service. If that is out of the question, then you coming to live with me is out of the question as well. Also, coming to me with the dream of marrying me for citizenship is out of the question. I don't marry slaves. You better have a work visa available prior to your offer, because you will work and support yourself as well as contribute to my housheold for your own expense. In the meantime, your best alternative is to call me and chat, ask questions, and find out whether you truly have the sincerity and drive to really serve me. Calls are much cheaper than meeting, plus they will help you decide whether you really want to serve or whether it is just a fantasy that will never happen.

If the above did not answer your inquiry, you may send me an email at mistressrana_2000@yahoo.com or my messenger IM is mistressrana_2000. DO NOT send me an email asking a question that is already answered here. If you do, I will assume your too stupid or too lazy to serve me and I will block your emails. Please use your brain. Read this twice if you need to. And remember, any mistake you make can be easily corrected with me by a little sweet talk, a small gift, etc. Consider me no differently than you would a girlfriend that you are trying to smooze and sweet talk into a date or more. Wine me, dine me, and prove you really want me and my time.

Slave Seeking Size Proportionate Mistress?

IT'S NOT ABOUT LOOKS, OR IS IT?
LET'S TALK ABOUT LOOKS

Are looks important to you? Do Mistresses/Masters screen their applicants for slave or sub by looks along with their other criteria? Do subs/slaves make their Mistress/Master selections according to looks? Or do you bypass looks entirely as long as they fit the criteria? Do you look for ads that say, "size proportionate" or "hot Mistress" or "muscle boy seeking?"

When it comes down to it, everyone bases some of their selection on looks because we are all attracted to others by some facial and/or body feature. I tend to be attracted to big men with large noses. I don't know why. They don't have to be gorgeous or particularly attractive in the face, but if they have a large nose, I find them very attractive. Blonde hair on men turns me off, but dark hair is a turn on. Body shapes do not seem to particularly attract me or gain notice, but cleanliness does get my notice. I'm not as attracted to muscular bodies as I am to barrel chested men. I am turned off by wrinkled, dirty clothes and clothes in disarray or that look torn and abused. I am turned off by greasy hair, or the appearance that someone has not showered in a few days. I am okay with plumps, fatties or voluptuous people, yet I am turned off by very, very thin anorexic looking people. Men with long hair turn me on, naturally bald men turn me on, cropped hair or shaved male heads turn me on. Cropped or shaved female heads turn me on. We all have different things that attract us, but it seems, by my experience, that Mistresses and submissive women are less critical of looks than their male counterparts (Masters and male submissives).

Here is a scenario that I and many Mistresses have come across:

Male attempting an encounter with a Mistress - Step One: There she is - the gorgeous Dominatrix you've visualized in your sexual fantasies since 4th grade. You start at the toe of her black boot and slowly climb the mountain of soft leather and even softer flesh. Black leather boots laced up over her perfectly formed calves, naked thighs topped with the shortest black skirt over the most perfect ass, the tightest black leather corset pushing up a set of DD tits that overflow the cups, and flowing black hair long enough to sit on. Her eyes are fixed on you like a black widow spider looking over her prey, and she's tapping a crop across her thigh. Ah, yes, you'll happily submit to that. No problem. You'll do anything she asks because you are a SUBMISSIVE MALE. Then the dream ends when she says, "That will be $500 up front. You got twenty minutes and you're out of here."

Step Two: Darn, can't afford that, so I guess you'll have to lower your standards a bit. Next step, seek a lifestyle Mistress. Call a few phone numbers or ads for Mistresses, or better yet, place an ad with one of the online alternative ad sites. Let's see, "Submissive male looking for a Mistress, height and size proportionate, no fatties or oldies, must be good looking, boots a must, I enjoy being tied up and made to jerk off on your boots, then I will lick it off, and serve you personally with my tongue." But don't mention money because he's not looking for prostitute. He's looking for a free sex encounter under his criteria.

Step Three: Still no takers. Damn. Now he has to lower his standards again. New ad: Submissive male looking for Mistress to serve, prefer under 30, mildly plump okay but no fatties, no money exchanges. I like eating my own cum, being made to jerk off, and will lick you for hours."

Step Four: Hmmm. Still no takers. And he can't figure out what he's doing wrong. So, he joins a bunch of Yahoo message boards. After a few months of being told how obnoxious he is, and that his sex dreams cannot be fulfilled by a Mistress because he is clueless, obnoxious and therefore banned, he finally catches on.

Step Five: Another new ad using the little tiny bit of knowledge he has acquired. Submissive male seeks Mistress to serve. I'm experienced in humiliation, light sessions, cross-dressing, and anal play. I can cook and clean house naked as slaves should be. Let me kneel at your feet and service you for hours with my tongue."

Hmmm. He's finally learned not to put restrictions on the looks until after he gets a few responses. Then he checks out the profile and does a little screening of his own. If the Mistress who responds is a fatty or too old, he writes her a nasty little note in response and she drops him. Hmmm, but now he encounters another problem. It seems there are only a few Mistresses out there, and they tend to be very choosy about the males they select for service (translation in his mind "service = sex").

Step Six: Can't get laid, time to lower standards again. He will now take any Mistress who will let him get off or get laid. New ad: "Will do anything for right Mistress. Will serve devotedly. Let me show you how devoted I am." Several Mistresses respond and he accepts each response no matter what their looks may be, and goes through the email screening process making sure he gives all the right answers. Talk the talk, then show her he can walk the walk. Finally, one or two accept his offer.

Step Six: After an initial interview and lot of wasted time for the Mistress, he is cast aside again, because although he can talk the talk, he sure can't walk the walk. Now, he wanders the internet using his free time to annoy as many lifestyle people as he can because he feels the lifestyle is a fake, since he obviously couldn't get what he wanted from it.

Here is what a lot of Mistresses tell me they come across:

The male submissive is seeking a Mistress who is fairly young, height and weight proportionate, and cute with all the equipment and leather dress including boots. The male submissive, on the other hand, is geeky looking, skinny as a rail or nowhere near height/weight proportionate himself, or looks unclean and unkempt ... yet feels he deserves only the prettiest and best who will serve him sexually for FREE. Or, most male submissives are focused only on their wants and needs, with no clue to service for a Mistress unless it means licking her somewhere.

Here is what a lot of Masters tell me they come across:

Many submissive females offer to take care the dream Master fully and completely for absolutely nothing in return other than the opportunity to serve him. When the female arrives, it doesn't take long to find out that she was seeking a paycheck for her kids (that
she surprised him with); or free room and board because she just left another relationship, has no job and needs a place to stay; or was everything she claimed for the first two months then wouldn't even pick up after herself, let alone anyone else, and just became a full time slob; or stated she was submissive but after a few months decided maybe she was a top or just a pain slut, and not really into servitude and now wants equal billing with her Master.

Here is what a lot of submissive men tell me they come across:
The Mistress said she was lifestyle. The submissive wasted a lot of time soliciting a place with her, then she dropped him for no apparent reason, and only said he didn't really fit her criteria. Or, she asked for money and gifts. Or, the Mistress didn't want a relationship, she just wanted him to clean, cook and serve her with no return (sex) at all. Or, she said she was a real time Mistress, but when it came time to relocate, she backed out and said she was
really online only and didn't think she could really do it in person. Or, he was very, very sincere and she didn't believe him and brushed off his attempts to serve her, and he doesn't understand why.

Here is what a lot of submissive women tell me they come across:

The Master only wanted a housekeeper and/or additional paycheck, not a slave. Or, he never grew to love her even though she offered him everything. Or, he was only looking a sex slut, she meant nothing to him. Or, he was abusive and was just looking for another girl to abuse. Or, his other submissive girl was a real bitch and wouldn't let anyone else settle into the household.

I have to wonder ... are they ALL true? It took a very long time, and I encountered almost every scenario stated here. But eventually, I found exactly what I was seeking. A male submissive who truly is submissive and yet, 100% male. He has no desire to wear women's
clothes or be feminized, yet he wants to cater and serve me. He has a big nose, and a big belly, and I find him gorgeous, but it seems only I find him gorgeous. But, hey, that's good enough for me since I don't care what others think. He was not in it for the sex, in fact, he was clearly told "no sex or sexual contact for six months during your training period" and he was okay with that. However, the sex came later, when I decided to collar and keep him, and it's been more than great. He has served me truly and faithfully for nearly eight years now, with no change or exception. Yet, I have to wonder ... Are there too many aspects, differences, or misperceptions about the lifestyle for the few of us to find the other few who crave the same things we crave? I had to wade through a lot chafe to find my grain of wheat -- and I'm just glad I found it, he was just what I was seeking. Will others find their wheat?

My aspect of the lifestyle really is not about looks. It's about compatibility. It's not about sex. It's about relationships that many times become sexual when they turn out just right. It's not about using and abusing another person, it's about finding someone who enjoys the same weird things you enjoy. It's really not about looks. I always tell people, if a 200 pound, primadonna Mistress (that's me boys!) can have men falling over her at munches and parties, it's not about looks. It's about charisma, charm, personality and all those things we flaunt and shine for others when we are seeking someone to share part of our life with. So, if you want to find the right person even within the lifestyle, you have to socialize, interview, maybe become friends, maybe even spend time together similar to dating while seeking compatibility. It's definitely not going to work if you are seeking height/weight proportionate, or fantasy perceptions, or swinger's sex, or the Mistress or Master with the most toys. Sift the chafe and look for the wheat. Good wheat comes in all sizes, and it doesn't always matter how long it's been stored. LOL. Feed back, comments and additions to this welcomed ...

Mistress Rana

The "Sounds" of Music (CBT Fun)

CBT Enjoyments


As a Mistress, CBT (Cock and Ball Torture) is one of my favorite sub-male sports, only second to ass play. I delight in strapping, tying, twisting, pulling, poking and stroking the ball sack, along with sliding any number of items inside, around, under and over the cock. Yes, I said "inside."


URETHRAL SOUNDS
If you are male and haven't enjoyed the delights of a "sounds" rod, then you are missing out on one of the more excruciating and pleasure experiences you will find. You can usually find them under BDSM medical supplies. It is a nice item for serious-play toy bags but a bit expensive if you do as I do and give the item to the victim *grin* after it is used. I consider it a very personal toy, and charge my boys for its use because I NEVER allow anyone else to use it again. I can usually get a set online or at a leather shop for a decent price. I break the set up and make the boys pay about $30 for playtime with each rod plus I train them to clean it, then I let them take it home after we play. In case you are not familiar with "sounds" rods, read the paragraph that follows:


"Sounds are medical devices designed to be inserted into the male urethra or the female urethra and uterus. They consist of a set of smooth stainless steel rods in graduated sizes or a singular piece, which may be straight or slightly curved on the ends. In actual medical purposes, sounds are used for gradually, gently enlarging the urethra or for measurements. In a BDSM medical scene they can be a source of exceptional sensual stimulation. Again, with prudence, this sort of play is not something you should engage in with someone who is inexperienced or who does not understand all the necessary precautions otherwise, your fun can result in infection, injury, or other traumatic problems." More information is available at: http://www.medicaltoys.com/MedicalFetishes2.html


I recommend learning about the cleanliness, bacteria factors, dangers, and personal use of "sounds" rods before playing with them. Plus, never allow someone you do not know very, very well to use one on you. And I also recommend you empty your bladder before play unless you are into wet sports. It would also be a good idea to put a shower curtain or some plastic under you during your first use.


Some of my newbie-players have told me that pissing and cumming at the same time is as strong an orgasm as you'll ever have. For newbies, I like using a very small rod, lubed up well, and inserted to just right the depth. Then I add the buzz that makes them explode deliciously - a small high-vibration, mini-vibrator. The first few times, all a boy can stand is quick touches to the tip of the inserted rod. They usually cum pretty fast. And, of course, want to play again almost immediately. I don't allow a second trip down cum-hard-as-you-can lane on the same day. I also caution them that use of a "sounds" can be pretty addictive.


One of my players came back dozens of time for play with me then bought his very own set in graduated sizes. He also purchased a selection of handheld vibrators with different buzz degrees to use with the "sounds" rods. He is addicted! He sets up very carefully several nights a week for "sounds" play. He covers his lounge chair with a large shower curtain. He places a Chux underpad on the seat of the chair. Then he sets up all his toys on the table beside the chair - including the sounds rods, vibrators, anal stimulator, prostrate stimulator, and other toys. He has brought himself to the point where he can hold the vibrator against the rod for a long continuous orgasm lasting several minutes before pissing the rod out and cumming at the same time. I do not believe this type of overuse is safe, but to each his own I guess. We know you boys will light your cock on fire for a good orgasm and suffer the consequences afterward - but that's another posting - isn't it? *big grin*


If you're interested in purchasing and trying a set or single rod, I recommend reading up on it first. The MedicalFetishes2 link listed above has good info and you can do your own research under the Google Search Engine using this string: sounds + BDSM. Then you can order your very own set. If you would rather order a set discreetly online, then check out http://www.extremerestraints.com/medical-toys_155/urethral-sounds_158/ for a nice selection of sets and single rods. If you're more adventurous at shopping, check out the gay male stores and leather stores in your area, and you might happen upon a good buy.

Types of slaves I enjoy

Nerds, Preppies, College Boys, Engineers, Lawyers

Visit Mistress Rana's New Site http://www.xxxsweettaboo.com/

I am frequently asked which men make the best slaves. Many are surprised at my answer. I have had just about every type of male there is apply for service to my household. That means they applied for a position as a live-in slave to serve me as their Mistress.

All ages from 18 to 90 years of age want to experience kink with a lifestyle Mistress or dominatrix. But the most common age for applicants just entering the lifestyle seems to be 27-35. And my most successful slaves have been approximately 27 years of age when they started training with me.

I have had military boys, attorneys, district attorneys, cops, firemen, computer nerds, geeks, college boys, professors, teachers, ironworkers, engineers, electricians, carpenters, married and single, etc. - it goes on and on. I have had applicants and inquiries from almost every avenue of work or education apply to me to serve.

How do they compare with each other? And who seems to make the transition best? I find that highly educated men do not tend to last long, meaning professors, CEOs and other very successful money oriented, power players. Most of them are only looking for kinky sex rather than to serve. However, military boys do quite well, and the higher the rank the more devoted and enjoyable they seem to be. Cops and firemen do well, probably because they are thrill seekers and enjoy high adrenaline play - which is something a Mistress can give quite well. Attorneys seem to do quite well, too. Perhaps their continued work sparring with other attorneys helps them enjoy the brotherly competition between slaves to rank high with their Mistress. College boys and those who are young, between the ages of 18 to 24, never seem to last very young. Their attention spans are too short, many tend to be quite lazy seeking only free room and board while getting their schooling, and as soon as they solve the mysteries of sex they move on to the college girls. Construction workers, carpenters, working men, nerds, socially inept, and shy preppies do quite well. Married men do not last long, but that goes without saying. Older men also do not last long due to jealousy and other possessive issues and a lack of understanding about the lifestyle. They tend to feel ignored if a Mistress spends time with other slaves, and want more focus on them.

I find the men who last the longest and serve with the most devotion seem to be the very nerdy or very shy boys plus those who socially inept between the ages 18-35, construction and trade men around age 27 , those in hospitality like nurses and waiters also around age 27, and a very few older men ages 55+ who have retired and no longer have a mate in their life.

Five years ago, a novice boy or someone who didn't have a clue about BDSM or Mistresses sometimes turned into a very dedicated slave. But nowadays, it's better to obtain a beginner who at least has an online inkling of what serving a Mistress and the lifestyle is all about. I now choose boys who can correctly answer a few questions about the lifestyle, or those who have had at least a little experience in local BDSM groups, munches or with previous lifestyle women.

So, if you are curious about slave-Mistress relationships or the Dominant-submissive lifestyle, or even younger boy-older woman relationships, you should do a little online training first and at least learn the basics. Why? Because many boys are under the misguided assumption that Mistresses are the same as ProDoms or Dominatrices - and they are not! Some boys are under the misguided assumption that Mistresses freely or for a price provide kinky sex to any boy making an inquiry - and they do not!

Many Mistresses, including me, now offer online information and training through their own web pages and phone access. I offer tons of E-books for nominal fees that include Slave Contracts, Slave Training Assignments and Lessons, Sissy Training Assignments and Lessons, Male Masturbation Aids and Fun, and more. Check them out on the Downloads Page at http://www.xxxsweettaboo.com/ or email me FREE anytime for advice and more at mistressrana@sbcglobal.net.

If you have an interest in serving a Mistress or making contact with one, do a little research and reading first so you don't get shot down as an annoying little know-nothing just looking for free sex. Get on your computer and bring up the Google Search Engine or download my E-Books at the link above for first-hand detailed information. On computer search engines, seek information under "BDSM" or "Mistress slave" or "dominant submissive relationships" or "slave servitude service" or "serving a Mistress."

Mistress Rana Available - At NEW Advice / Phone Sex Web Site

FROM MISTRESS RANA: My new website is active and available. Please check it out and give me a call. As a Lifestyle Mistress with many years of experience, I am offering a new service. Quite a few lifestyle curious men ask my for sexual or lifestyle advice, or seek time with me just to chat, or want to ask questions about kinky sex, or offer to serve me long distance, or request slave training online, or are seeking phone sex and phone domination with a real time Mistress.

For those who live far away, time can become an annoying issue and constraint for us both. But now, I have made two phone sex/advice web services which allow me the discretion of offering phone training for slaves; sexual advice for those who need it or want it; kinky and domination phone sex, and lifestyle information, referrals and/or sexual kink discussion. So, for a small charge, I can be available for lifestyle chat, discussion and kinky talk as a provided service rather than an unnecessary intrusion to my time.

I also offer Phone Sex. Who could offer better phone sex than a Mistress who has experienced so much in the areas of sex, kink, and domination? Taboos are welcome, and nothing is disgusting or shocking to me.

If you'd like to CALL ME and chat in person, just go to my web site at www.XXXSweetTaboo.com and follow the instructions. Where else can you chat with a true Mistress for such a small amount? If you have any questions, contact me on messenger at mistressrana_2000 or send me an email to mistressrana_2000@yahoo.com

I own some other web sites if you would like to check them out: www.XXXSweetTaboos.com plus my own FREE blog at http://mistressrana.blogspot.com/ . Check out the links above for free photos, a chatroom, games, Mistress blogs and more. To chat with me in person, use the payment key and phone number listed at www.XXXSweetTaboo.com. I also own several FREE access Yahoo groups at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/B4P-TwistedVanilla and http://groups.yahoo.com/group/mistressrana/ .

And, if your budget can't handle live chat, you can always email me for free advice at mistressrana_2000@yahoo.com - any time.

I look forward to hearing from you. Mistress Rana